Beyond being festive: 5 ways to truly connect with family and friends this holiday season

Beyond being festive: 5 ways to truly connect with family and friends this holiday season

The holiday season often conjures images of sparkling lights, festive gatherings, and heartwarming cheer. For many, it’s a time of joy and togetherness. Yet, beneath this festive veneer, the holidays can also be a period of intense stress, loneliness, and amplified grief. The pressure to be "happy" can isolate those silently struggling, making genuine connections more vital than ever.

As a health care provider deeply invested in community well-being, Northwell Health understands that mental and emotional health is just as important as physical health. Reaching out to loved ones during this time isn't just a kind gesture; it's a critical component of collective well-being. Here are five practical ways we can check in and offer meaningful support:

1. Practice active listening, without judgment

Often, when someone shares their struggles, our first instinct is to offer solutions or anecdotes. This holiday, commit to active listening. Put away distractions, maintain eye contact, and let them speak without interruption. Ask open-ended questions like, "I’ve been thinking about you. I’m glad we got the chance to talk. How have things been going?" The goal isn't to fix everything, but to allow them to feel seen, heard, and validated. This simple act can be profoundly healing, letting them know they're not alone.

2. Offer tangible, practical support

Sometimes, the greatest comfort isn't just a sympathetic ear, but a helping hand. The holidays can bring increased demands — from gift shopping and meal prep to financial strain. Instead of just saying, "Let me know if you need anything," offer specific assistance. A warm meal delivered to their door, an offer to run an errand, or taking their children for an hour can significantly lighten their load and demonstrate genuine care. Practical support shows you’re not just thinking of them, but actively caring for their well-being. It’s also great to simply ask, "How can I best help you?"

3. Prioritize meaningful face-to-face connections

In an increasingly digital world, it’s easy to confuse likes and comments with genuine interaction. While a quick text is nice, nothing replaces the power of in-person connection. Invite a friend for a quiet coffee, suggest a walk, or simply visit for a relaxed chat. If distance is a barrier, schedule a dedicated video call where both parties can focus. These direct interactions foster intimacy, allow for non-verbal cues to be read, and reinforce a sense of belonging that digital exchanges often miss.

4. Acknowledge and validate grief and loss

For those who have experienced loss, especially a recent one, the holidays can be a stark and painful reminder of those no longer with us. Don't shy away from acknowledging their grief out of fear of upsetting them. Instead, gently acknowledge their loss: "I know this time of year can be hard without [loved one's name]." Share a fond, positive memory of the person, or simply offer a comforting presence and allow them space to feel their emotions without judgment. Validating their pain is a powerful act of empathy.

5. Gently encourage professional help (when appropriate)

 While our support as friends and family is invaluable, sometimes loved ones need more specialized help. If you notice persistent signs of sadness, anxiety, withdrawal, or changes in behavior that concern you, gently suggest seeking professional support. Frame it not as a weakness, but as a proactive step towards well-being, like seeking help for a physical ailment. Share resources from reputable organizations like Northwell, emphasizing that mental health care is a sign of strength, not a failing. Asking something as simple as "How have you been prioritizing yourself lately?" is a comfortable way to offer resources.

This holiday season, look beyond the sparkle and commit to truly seeing and supporting those around us. These five acts of connection are more than gestures; they are vital investments in the mental and emotional health of our loved ones and our community. The true spirit of the holidays lies in connection, compassion, and care. Make every check-in count.

Christopher Fisher, MD, is director of adult outpatient psychiatry at Northwell's Zucker Hillside Hospital in Queens, New York.

This story was produced by Northwell Health and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.