A mental health guide to holiday shopping

A mental health guide to holiday shopping

As soon as the leftover turkey is put away, the holiday retail machine roars to life. From Black Friday through Cyber Monday, inboxes flood, and our dopamine circuits light up like the sales banners that promise “once-a-year deals.” This shopping weekend has become the unofficial kickoff to a season of stress: one that profits off emotional and psychological urgency. To help provide some expert guidance on how to navigate the start of holiday shopping, Blueprint, a therapist-enablement technology platform, consulted mental health clinician Vivian Chung Easton.

The Emotional Cost of the Shopping Rush

Last year, U.S. shoppers spent $13.3 billion on Cyber Monday, a 7.3% increase from the previous year, according to Adobe Analytics. The average American planned to drop around $650 across Thanksgiving weekend, up 15% year over year, per a Deloitte report. Those numbers aren’t just economic metrics; they’re emotional indicators. The “buy now or lose out” messaging fuels scarcity fears, guilt, and comparison, especially in a season already heavy with expectations.

The American Psychiatric Association reported in 2024 that about 28% of Americans feel significant stress during the holidays, driven by finances, family conflict, and grief. Add in the noise of flash sales and countdown timers, and many enter December feeling depleted rather than festive.

The Psychology of Overspending

There are psychological factors at play to make you fear missing out. For instance words like “limited-time,” “exclusive,” and “doorbuster” activate the feeling of scarcity. Add in social media, where others broadcast their purchases, and the effect compounds. It’s not just about wanting the thing; it’s about not wanting to feel left behind.

Beyond marketing, guilt and obligation also play their part. Many parents and partners overspend out of fear of disappointing someone. That emotion, combined with endless decisions about what, when, and how much to buy, creates decision fatigue. The more choices you face, the weaker self-control becomes. The result is predictable:

• 43% of Americans enter the holiday season already in debt, according to 2024 data from Credit Karma.
• The same report found 44% feel pressure to spend more than they can afford. And that number jumps to 53% among Gen Z and millennials.
• Over 80% worry that tariffs and inflation will raise costs even more, according to a 2025 report from Credit Karma.

The mental fallout looks familiar to anyone who’s woken up to a drained account or a delivery they barely remember ordering: anxiety, sleeplessness, rumination, and regret. It’s the emotional hangover of consumption.

Setting Limits Before You Click ‘Add to Cart’

You can’t outwillpower a billion-dollar marketing industry. But you can outplan it.

Mental health clinician Vivian Chung Easton suggests that you should start before the deals drop. First, have an overall budget conversation with a spouse or anyone else who should be involved in planning, so everyone is aligned and any surprises later can be avoided. Write down your total spending limit for the season — not just for gifts, but for shipping, wrapping, meals, and travel. Then divide it by person or category. That’s your playbook. Here are a few practical steps.

• Plan your “essentials” and “nice to haves.” Identify a couple of purchases that are really important to you. That allows you to focus on what you think is most valuable and prioritize them.
• Shop with a partner. Bring in accountability. A friend or spouse who knows your plan can gently steer you away from impulsive buys.
• Mute the noise. Unsubscribe from promo emails, silence push notifications, and limit time on shopping apps. It’s as easy as a single click in most cases, and can help you avoid being tempted by things you might not need.
• Monitor spending: Even though they might be small amounts each, several purchases can add up. There are ways to set spending limits on a credit or debit card, as well as sending yourself notifications for reaching or exceeding those limits. Setting and receiving those alerts can help you keep track of total spending.
• Use cash when you can. Research generally shows that swiping plastic dulls your sense of spending; paying in cash restores it. While this might not be useful for larger purchases or if you plan on using credit card points, using cash for smaller in-person purchases can make money feel like a physical thing rather than just numbers.
• Take breaks. Add your items to your cart, and if you’re feeling unsure about it, take a cooling-off period. Step away for a few minutes: Perhaps take a walk, think through it, and if you come back and still want the items in your cart, then maybe it’s worth it. Giving yourself even a brief opportunity to reflect can sometimes interrupt the sense of FOMO that sales are designed to make us feel.

Intentional spending isn’t about frugality; it’s about sanity.

Navigating the Guilt to Give Generously

Gift-giving is supposed to be about generosity, but it can also feel like emotional accounting — a way to prove care, maintain harmony, or meet expectations. When generosity turns into guilt, it can take the joy out of gift-giving, because it feels like an obligation rather than something you’d like to do. And in a season all about celebration and coming together, guilt can really take away being able to actually enjoy the holiday. It can be helpful to take a look internally, as some of that guilt might be coming from the perception that the holiday has to be transactional. Ask yourself how your family would perceive you if you don’t give “good” gifts. What happens if you don’t give the extravagant gift that is on someone’s list? Odds are that the pressure to spend on lavish gifts to communicate love might be more marketing than reality.

Emotional fatigue spikes when every moment feels transactional: another purchase, another expectation. Step outside. Take a walk. Breathe before buying. Slowing down keeps the emotional brain from hijacking your decisions. Remember: Presence matters more than presents.

The Aftermath: Audit, Repair, and Reset

Once the shopping haze clears, another emotion creeps in: regret. Behavioral finance calls it “post-purchase dissonance,” which is a more official term for “buyer’s remorse” — that sinking feeling after realizing a sale price wasn’t worth the cost to your peace of mind. The antidote is reflection, not shame.

• Audit your receipts and order confirmations. Identify any impulse purchases. Cancel, return, or resell what doesn’t add value.
• Plan your debt recovery. Even small, steady payments lower stress and interest over time.
• Reflect on your triggers. Think about what pulled you into overspending. Guilt? Boredom? Comparison?
• Track emotional patterns. Notice when shopping feels like a relief or a reward. Those moments often signal unmet emotional needs, not genuine wants.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about building awareness. When you understand your triggers, you can face next season with more clarity and less chaos.

Redefining the Meaning of Holiday Abundance

Somewhere between the Black Friday checkout lines and Cyber Monday countdowns, it can be easy to lose sight of what abundance really means. Advertisers define it as accumulation; mental health defines it as connection.

Research from the Journal of Happiness Studies in 2021 found that people who regularly practiced gratitude reported higher happiness and life satisfaction. Gratitude shifts focus from scarcity (what we don’t have) to sufficiency (what we already do have). Real abundance looks like having dinner with family, sleeping well because you stayed within your budget, or even sharing a story or meal instead of an extra gift. That’s the part of the holiday season no algorithm can sell.

So this year, as the sales flood in and your browser tempts you with another deal “too good to miss,” pause. Ask what you really need. Ask what your loved ones actually want. Chances are, it’s time, not things. The choice you’ll make all season might be the peace that comes from closing the tab.

This story was produced by Blueprint and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.