The dos and don'ts of proposing
Proposing is both an intimate and cultural experience. Couples ready to get engaged often have to balance societal expectations—from family traditions to cinematic clichés—with what works for them personally. VRAI, a fine jewelry brand specializing in lab-grown diamonds, breaks down the do's and don'ts of proposing so that each couple can decide what's best for them before saying "yes" to a lifetime of love.
Don't Live by the "Two Month" Rule
Many have been told for decades that an engagement ring should cost the equivalent of two month's salary or more. While there's nothing wrong with adhering to this rule, couples should know that they don't have to follow it. An engagement ring can be more or less expensive depending on the couple's own personal budget. The only rule to follow is to spend the amount that's right for them.
Do Set Your Own Budget
While couples don't have to put aside two months' salary for an engagement ring, they should set a budget to narrow down their search. If the sky is the limit, they might decide to invest in higher carat weights, multi-stone engagement rings, and more. If they're working within a budget, they can decide to focus on specific factors, such as which of the diamond 4Cs they should prioritize.
Don't Ignore Your Partner's Style
Perhaps a future proposée has seen celebrities sporting a certain style of solitaire engagement ring, or they've read articles on trending diamond shapes. While this information can be useful, it should not decide which ring they should choose for their partner. Rather, paying attention to their significant other's personal style—whether it's classic, bold, playful, or romantic—will help them find the ring to say yes to.
Do Find a Ring They'll Love
If the person being proposed to only wears yellow gold, choose a yellow gold engagement ring. If they have sleek, modern, and minimalist style, veer away from ornate vintage-inspired rings or floral-inspired looks. Taking their favorite diamond shapes and existing jewelry into consideration means proposing with a ring they'll love and wear for a lifetime.
Don't Feel You Need to Keep It Secret
While a surprise engagement can be exciting, discussing expectations—from the ring to proposal style—can help couples make sure they're aligned. If a significant other will have a strong opinion on what kind of engagement ring they'd like to receive, they should be included in the selection process. This ensures that no one is being sent back to the jewelry store with an expensive ring they might not be able to return. Couples can browse styles online together or book an appointment with an expert while keeping the future proposal a pleasant surprise.
Do Set Shared Expectations
Unspoken expectations can be a source of unnecessary hurt. While some might assume their future betrothed knows they want to receive a platinum five carat solitaire while sipping champagne at a Michelin-star restaurant, the truth is that no one is a mind reader. Couples can share their ideal ring or proposal scenario with each other so that they can help each other make their dreams come true.
Don't Fall for Proposal Clichés
If a couple met while studying abroad in France or have always dreamed of traveling to Paris together, then the City of Lights just might be the perfect place to propose. But if the French capital or the Eiffel Tower hold no personal meaning for a couple, why get engaged there? The same goes for any proposal cliché. Just because countless ads and films equate red roses, candlelight dinners, far-away destinations, and string quartets with romance doesn't mean it's right for all.
Do Make Your Proposal Personal
A picnic at the park where you walk your dog together, coffee at the café where you had your first date, a night on the couch with a shared bowl of popcorn and your favorite film … these everyday settings might make for the perfect proposal setting if they're meaningful enough to a couple. From popping the question over pancakes at their go-to diner to getting down on one knee on their favorite hiking trail, personalized details make a proposal all the more special.
Don't Make It About Anyone Else
From a family member insisting on proposing with an heirloom ring to best friends butting in on where the proposal should take place, a future fiancé might have to wade through others' opinions before popping the question. While including loved ones' input can sometimes be helpful, couples shouldn't go against their own wishes to appease others. The proposal, engagement, and wedding should ultimately be about them and no one else.
Do Celebrate Your Love in a Style Unique to You
Do you want to wear black tie attire and hire a professional photographer for your engagement? Or would you rather stay at home and take selfies with your new ring on your phone? Just like the proposal itself, celebrating and announcing the news that you're engaged is personal to you. So if you want to send out handwritten notes to friends and family or simply make a post on social media, let the world know you're in love your own way. Remember to not overthink it—there's plenty of bigger decisions to be made now that your engagement is final and wedding planning starts!
